Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Rooted in Righteousness?

I would like to point out a weakness in our churches today: we do not understand what it means to be broken. I believe we see this played out in a number of ways. Today, I want to speak of something I have seen in myself, witnessed while attending ACU, and continue to encounter as I work with young adults. Many people raised in the church tend to avoid brokenness while applying ridiculously high expectations of themselves, and it results in people who are absolutely torn apart on the inside wrestling with guilt, denial, and loneliness.

For example: Paco is born and raised within the church. Paco is a goody-two-shoes. Paco has a track record of making wise decisions. But in college, Paco falls victim to pornography. In time, his addiction gains absolute control over him. It effects the way he interacts with women and threatens to deeply harm his relationship with a spouse someday. But Paco cannot imagine confessing his struggle. He cannot imagine the people he would disappoint. He cannot imagine what good Christian people would think about him. And the years go by. Years in which he could have experienced healing. Years in which he could have been restored. Years in which he could have become whole in the Lord, attaining the full potential God had in mind. Instead, Paco’s heart is an absolute mess. He is a slave to sin. He is ridden with guilt. He believes many of Satan’s lies. And he feels very alone on his journey. His potential in the Lord is thwarted, and Satan is pleased. He has established such high expectations for himself, that he cannot admit—even to himself—that something needs to give. And his heart is wrenched with the tension for decades.

I just finished reading a book entitled Broken in the Right Place, by Alan Nelson. It’s a great book that speaks to the natural and necessary path of spiritual brokenness. Here’s what I want to say: it frightens me to think how many Christians are not seeking spiritual wholeness. It frightens me to wonder how many of us Christians are not allowing Christ to display His healing power in our lives at all. Opposite of the title to this blog, I want my children to be rooted in brokenness—an understanding that God’s power is displayed most perfectly in broken lives made whole.

Truly, there is great pain in brokenness. But the body of Christ exists in part to share the journey of brokenness, healing, and wholeness. I think it helps us understand the necessity of brokenness when we work backwards: our purpose is to glorify God; God’s power is displayed most perfectly in broken lives made whole; we must communicate how God has healed our wounds; we must allow God to heal our wounds; we must face our own wounds. The first step to spiritual wholeness is spiritual brokenness.

So, what can we do in our churches to release ourselves from these high expectations? What can we do to create environments where brokenness is expected and handled appropriately?

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

ZOE Conference

Back from the ZOE conference this week. It’s hard to believe that my first conference was four years ago. In fact, it was the ZOE conference four years ago where I felt my calling to worship ministry very strongly. I was 21 years old. I’m dumbfounded when I think of all that has happened in only four years. It seems like I’ve been doing “this worship thing” for more than four years. One thing is for sure—the Lord has provided more opportunities to grow and learn about worship ministry than I could have ever dreamed. More than anything, I want to be a good steward of the gifts / opportunities God has entrusted to me.

The fact that this conference called me into this ministry four years ago combined with its proximity to my birthday has left the experience as a special time for reflection. My 24th year was quite a journey. God has walked me through some real storms—both in my job and in my personal life. Yet through the pain, I can see how God has worked to make me a deeper person and a more effective worship leader and pastor. He has answered so many huge prayers along the way, and He is resurrecting my spirit.

While we know God is always present, sometimes His presence is hidden. We grow in our relationship with Him when we learn to trust His presence and His work during these times. If you are enduring a time of uncertainty, I want to encourage you with these words that my friend Jon read at the conference: “I feel like I’m surrounded by clouds and I can’t see You, but then I realize You are the clouds.”

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

The Big 25

Today, I am 25 years old. I'm currently in the middle of a 24-hour Mexican-food-only stretch. It's been great! :o)

Thanks to everyone for the cards and e-cards. I've had fun receiving them today. A part of my birthday ritual every year is a trip to Nashville for the ZOE worship conference. Two years ago, I spent a portion of my Sabbatical in Nashville, so I always plan a few hours at some "sacred places" to do some reflection on the last year--who I am, how God is shaping me, where I think He's leading me, etc. I'm looking forward to my reflection time, and some great reunions with special friends at the conference. This trip is always one of the biggest highlights of my year. It's a nice birthday gift.

Thanks for reading my blog. I thought of several good blog ideas today, so please check back next week and I'll be sure to deliver. I always try to make my posts "good" so that people will come back. If I don't write, it's usually because I can't think of anything worth your time.

So, do any of you have a birthday ritual?